Disclaimer: I have great respect for women. If you are a woman, please don't take offense from this post. Because none is intended. As your archetypical computer nerd, I had a very hard time dating. These are things that helped me. I want to share this info with other guys like me. Sort of like ... I wish I knew this when I was young.
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I had a very hard time with the ladies. Somethings that helped:
- Move to a place with a better male-female ratio.
- Move to a place where you seem like a good catch.
- Seek out women in different professions than tech (I am convinced there are too few geek girls to go around. I never realized how bad the odds were.)
That's it. Seriously. For me, it was about location-location-location. I firmly believe there are certain cities full of women who just tease - they string you along as friends but no more. If you have had no dating success in 1-2 years, you might be in a dating dead-zone.
Some things that helped (but I sucked at doing these):
- Gym
- Good clothes (not by my definition but by a young woman's definition - these did not match at all. We're talking bright colors, shopping at Express ... this nearly brought a tear to my eye.)
- Good haircut (again, I thought I looked like an idiot ... the ladies really like it. Spiky hair=catnip?)
- Read "The Game" - it is not about pick ups. It is about confidence. Frankly, I think the same ideas described in this book for picking up women are used by so-called hustlers and suits in making business deals.
Heh ... maybe I should do a more detailed post on this one day. I clearly spent way too much thinking about this subject when I was single :p
Some important things:
a) DO NOT GET DEPRESSED! There are lots of losers out there. Getting with a loser is easy. One reason you are single is you want something better.
b) DON'T LOSE YOUR IDENTITY!! A lot of women described me as geeky when I was young. So what? I do what I love. That said, I'm okay compromising on clothes. However, when I dated women who wanted to change me completely, it was me who broke it off. That said, I do try to reduce my overall level of geekiness in front of strangers. Don't overwhelm them ;-)
c) DON'T GET DEPRESSED! When you are young, single and geeky, it might seems like the one thing you need to make life work is a mate. That's not true. Trust me. There are benefits to being single - like time to play video games, board games, travel on your own, hack around, read books, attend tech events, whatever you want. Never lose respect for yourself!
Best of luck to all my single, geeky HNers. I hope some of this will help.
----
I had a very hard time with the ladies. Somethings that helped:
- Move to a place with a better male-female ratio.
- Move to a place where you seem like a good catch.
- Seek out women in different professions than tech (I am convinced there are too few geek girls to go around. I never realized how bad the odds were.)
That's it. Seriously. For me, it was about location-location-location. I firmly believe there are certain cities full of women who just tease - they string you along as friends but no more. If you have had no dating success in 1-2 years, you might be in a dating dead-zone.
Some things that helped (but I sucked at doing these):
- Gym
- Good clothes (not by my definition but by a young woman's definition - these did not match at all. We're talking bright colors, shopping at Express ... this nearly brought a tear to my eye.)
- Good haircut (again, I thought I looked like an idiot ... the ladies really like it. Spiky hair=catnip?)
- Read "The Game" - it is not about pick ups. It is about confidence. Frankly, I think the same ideas described in this book for picking up women are used by so-called hustlers and suits in making business deals.
Heh ... maybe I should do a more detailed post on this one day. I clearly spent way too much thinking about this subject when I was single :p
Some important things:
a) DO NOT GET DEPRESSED! There are lots of losers out there. Getting with a loser is easy. One reason you are single is you want something better.
b) DON'T LOSE YOUR IDENTITY!! A lot of women described me as geeky when I was young. So what? I do what I love. That said, I'm okay compromising on clothes. However, when I dated women who wanted to change me completely, it was me who broke it off. That said, I do try to reduce my overall level of geekiness in front of strangers. Don't overwhelm them ;-)
c) DON'T GET DEPRESSED! When you are young, single and geeky, it might seems like the one thing you need to make life work is a mate. That's not true. Trust me. There are benefits to being single - like time to play video games, board games, travel on your own, hack around, read books, attend tech events, whatever you want. Never lose respect for yourself!
Best of luck to all my single, geeky HNers. I hope some of this will help.