This is exactly my experience.

It probably helped that I did just enough game design to be acutely aware of even less-obvious time sink mechanisms, but I don't think it was an essential feature of what changed. Even simple puzzle games and other things that aren't manipulative started to pale in the face of the realization that "hey, I could go fix a broken shelf or read a book or exercise and get a lasting benefit".

It's not a sense of duty or anything else people would describe as "not being lazy", doing something fruitful just started feeling better. I still play games, and I'm happy with that, but the set of games has shrunk to things with ongoing interest and no grind, and the timing to stretches where I'm tired, stuck (e.g. at an airport), or playing with friends.

I don't doubt that addictiveness is a real factor, but I think lots of horror stories about gaming and tech addiction grab the wrong end of the stick. I've seen a half dozen people take "young men now work fewer hours, and game for a similar number more hours" and say "obviously, games destroyed their will to work!" Meanwhile, half my friends have gamed heavily when they had crap jobs, short-term rented apartments, etc, and then stopped as soon as they got bored and found opportunities for lasting improvements. Games are a fantastic way to kill a lot of time comfortably, but that doesn't mean they override all our other impulses.

I generally only read fiction, so I see video games and books as being in the same category: They're great for relaxation and entertainment, and occasionally bring a new plot or idea, but generally not nearly as useful as fixing or making things.

And that's okay. But getting myself to believe that was okay took some doing. I struggled with it for years before I finally found a good balance that didn't make me think I should be more production instead of relaxing.

Yes! I don't like games that grind. I have more important things to do with my time. I'll put _some_ time into some grind-y games. I like hearthstone, but don't grind. I play ~5-10 minutes a day. I like diablo, but I get maybe an hour or two a month in usually. I never keep up with everyone. If the game is more adventure and skill based, it grabs me longer, but if I feel the grind, I lose interest fast.

> That was what completely killed my interest in any amount of game grind- it hit me mid-game that if I spent that time grinding my actual corporeal self, I'd have something to show for it after.

I wish I could relate to this. IRL grinding seems hilariously inefficient and unreliable, which I think is why people enjoy their gaming grinds so much.

Unreliable? It's a lot harder, and a lot slower, but if you learn the ropes & train your body you will get faster/stronger/whatever.

I agree with you, but at the same time, I have to point out that not everyone might have that perspective (anecdotally or not). I'd argue sometimes that the rewards from grind in real-life might seem so marginal such that some people feel as if they have made no effective progress.

Yes, it's definitely a slower grind than a video game, where it feels like a slog but you make progress in days or even hours. I have now run many hundreds of miles over the course of years to reap gains I can feel really good about.

That might have been easier for me to sign up for now that I am older, and more comfortable thinking about multi-year horizons.